The Great Outdoors
by Zeldafan422
Summary: Mithos is bored, and decides to take everyone to Gaoracchia Forest for a camping trip! Can Yuan and Kratos find out how to escape? Lots of campfire stories from the whole cast! [Language]
1. Chapter One: Getting There

A few things to know before you read (thanks, by the way) my story. And review hopefully!

First, I don't own anything unless I specifically point out that I do. That's for all the future chapters too.

Second, everyone is a little out of character. This is for humor purposes. The story is post-game, but Mithos is still alive.

Third, there's a third notification? Oh yeah, reviewing means happy author.

**Chapter One: Getting There**

"Everyone, we're going camping!" Mithos announced as he flew into Zelos's mansion. He was carrying several bags, and was wearing scary outdoor clothes. Kratos and Yuan sadly trudged behind him.

"What?"Sheena shot back. "We are NOT going camping."

"Yeah," Zelos agreed. "It's perfectly fine just staying in my mansion. There's more snacks."

"I have plenty of snacks!" Mithos howled fiercely. "WE'RE GOING CAMPING!"

"Daaaaaaaaaaaad!" Lloyd whined.

"Son, Yuan and I didn't-"

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!"

"Lloyd, Mithos was the only one who-"

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"

"SHUT UP!" Kratos finally snapped. "Just get out of here or Mithos will be pissed."

"Alright, alright, sheesh,"Lloyd said, as everyone slowly walked out of the door toward the Rheairds. Who is everyone, you ask? Lloyd, Colette, Genis, Raine, Sheena, Zelos, Presea, Regal, Kratos, Yuan...and Mithos.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Mithos suddenly stopped them. "We're not taking the Rheairds!"

"What? Why not?" Genis protested.

"Because...that takes all the fun out of it!" Mithos explained. "We're walking! Follow me!"

They began walking, until Meltokio was out of sight. Still, they kept walking after that until nothing except green fields everywhere you looked.

"Here we are!" Mithos suddenly told them when they reached Gaoracchia Forest.

"What?" Colette questioned, even though she was usually quiet.

"Hahaha!" Mithos laughed in his...unique way. "I love this place!"

"Tell me we aren't camping here," Zelos said.

"We are not camping here," Regal replied.

"Quiet you two," Raine commanded. "I will try and talk some sense into him. Mithos- we can't stay in this place."

"Sure we can!" Mithos bellowed. "Now that I'm not evil-" Everyone rolled their eyes. "okay, now that I'm not COMPLETELY evil, there are no more monsters."

"It is true," Presea confirmed, after a quick check.

"NOOOOO!" Lloyd and Genis both screamed. Kratos and Yuan quickly went behind a tree, and began throwing ideas off the wall to escape the camping trip from hell.

"How long did he say we were going to be here?" Yuan hissed.

"He didn't," Kratos answered. "What are we going to do?"

"Kraaaatos! Yuaan!" Mithos shouted. "HELP ME SET UP THE TENTS!"

"We'll figure something out," Yuan said. "Right now let's help Yggy."

After Kratos and Yuan set up the tents, Mithos told Raine and Sheena to go find firewood. Lloyd and Genis were in charge of..

"Lloyd! Genis!" Mithos called. "Go find some food!"

"You said you had plenty of snacks!" Genis shot back.

"Those are for me," Mithos explained with an evil grin. "You have to find food for everyone else. Go, NOW! I'm timing you." He pulled out a stopwatch, as the two boys took off running.

"Regal and Presea.." Mithos was pondering on what ridiculous task to force them to do. "Get me a hot dog."

"Sir Mithos," Regal protested. "There are no hot dogs-"

"NOW!" Mithos pulled out a different stopwatch and started it.

"Soo..me and Colette don't have to do anything?" Zelos asked hopefully.

"Well, no," Mithos answered. "But since you just used improper grammar, I'm going to tell you to...get me another stopwatch so that I can time you. Go..NOW!" The two trudged off.

Sheena and Raine emerged from the forest with firewood. They threw it down at Mithos's feet and hoped that they wouldn't have to do anything.

"Light it!" Mithos commanded. "What else am I going to cook my- REGAL! PRESEA! FRONT AND CENTER!" They walked over sadly.

"Where is my hot dog? I told you, specifically, told you to get me a hot dog," Mithos said angrily.

"There are no hot dogs in this forest!" Regal shot back.

"You sir, are a liar. Liar, liar, your pants ARE ON FIRE!" Mithos shouted. He reached into the bushes and pulled out...a hot dog. "What now, beyotch?"

"But-" Presea protested, when Mithos suddenly 'shush'ed her.

"You did not check the bushes for hot dogs," Mithos told them harshly. "Which means you will not be attending the campfire stories tonight."

"CAMPFIRE STORIES?" Lloyd and Genis both dropped the berries and other crap they were holding in shock. "What?"

"Yes," Mithos smiled demonically. "By the way Lloyd, you're going first."

"NOOOO!" Lloyd shouted, when Zelos and Colette arrived at the scene with a stopwatch.

"Here you go," Colette said, and slammed it into his hand.

"Thank you," Mithos said, not bothering to ask how in the world they found one.

"What were you saying about campfire stories?" Zelos asked.

"Each one of you will get to tell one!" said a very giddy Mithos. "But tonight, it's Lloyd turn! Hahahaha!"

"What does the story have to be about?" Lloyd asked.

"It has to be something embarrassing that's happened to you!" Mithos laughed maniacally. "You have ten minutes to think of one. Until then, have fun!" He flew away to his own personal tent, complete with a water slide and a Jacuzzi.

"What am I supposed to do, Dad?" Lloyd complained angrily.

"Think of a story," Kratos shrugged. "Yuan and I will try and figure out a way to get out of here."

"I've already started working with Genis," Yuan told Kratos. "We're working on plans to get out of this hellhole."

"I thought WE were going to do it," Kratos slightly frowned.

"Sorry, Yuan and I have it under control," Genis looked over the blueprints to Gaoracchia Forest.

"Fine," Kratos said coldly.

"A story...think of a story," Lloyd was muttering to himself.

"How long will it take for you two to find a way out of here?" Sheena asked.

"Depends," Yuan said. "We're going to need a diversion, that's for sure."

"I can help with that!" Regal exclaimed, and pulled out..

"A frying pan?" Raine raised an eyebrow.

"Regal the Magnificient!" shouted Regal. "Fighting crime with his trusty frying pan! BAM!" He hit a tree and it broke in half, then went off to his tent sobbing uncontrollably.

"Oookay," Colette said.

"Lloyd! Everyone! Get over to the campfire!" Mithos said after lighting it. "It's story time!"

**End Chapter One**

Other chapters will be longer. Chapter Two will be Lloyd's story, and other fun stuff! Reviews are greatly appreciated!


	2. Chapter Two: The Boogie Monster

Sorry it took a while for the update...other updates SHOULD be faster. I can't make any promises though...here is Kratos's story!

Chapter time!

**Chapter Two: The Boogie Monster**

Yes, I know, I said this would be Lloyd's story. Patience young padawan.

"Okay Lloydy-woydy!" Mithos shouted, while Kratos growled silently. No one noticed.

"STORY TIME!" Mithos shouted again. "So, what's your story?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Lloyd stammered uneasily. "I..couldn't think of one?"

"WRONG!" Mithos shot back.

"How can it be wr-"

"I SAID WRONG!" Lloyd was immediately silenced. "Seeing as Lloyd could not think of a story, I sentence him tothree days without food. Or water for that matter."

"WHAT?" Sheena screamed. "That's absurd!"

"Yeah dude," Zelos folded his arms. "Seriously, that's got to be like, child abuse."

"Fine," Mithos said in a grouchy voice. "Two days."

"But-" Lloyd protested.

"TWO DAYS! NOW OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU...YOU..SON OF KRATOS!" Mithos screamed, and spat on everyone.

"Wow, burn," Genis rolled his eyes.

"Genis, I'm going to let you off easy because you're my friend," Mithos glared. "Kratos, you shall tell a story in place of your pathetic son."

"Uhhh.." Kratos glanced at Yuan quickly, who shrugged.

"C'mon Kratos," Mithos grinned. "You don't want to fast for two days like your son, do you?"

"Fine," Kratos smirked slightly. "I am going to tell them all the TRUE story of the Boogie Monster." Yuan snickered.

"N-no!" Mithos protested. "You shall not tell that story Kratos Robert Aurion!"

Colette raised an eyebrow. "Robert?"

"What?" Kratos shrugged. "It's short for Roberto. Anyway, now where was I..?"

"KRATOS DO NOT TELL THAT STORY!" Mithos screamed. "Wait..which one?"

"The third one," Kratos grinned.

"NOO! Wait..which one is that?" Mithos thought furiously.

"The one with the big party.." Yuan answered.

"NOOO! DON'T TELL THAT STORY!" Mithos pleaded, and got on his knees. "I beg of you!"

"Too late," Kratos looked down and smiled. "The story of the Boogie Monster...Part Three..

* * *

Once upon a time...there was the Boogie Monster, of course. He was a very simple monster, and he especially enjoyed dancing. Particularly, disco. Nobody would accept the Boogie Monster, for they were all too scared of him and his crazy dance moves. Everyone fled from him, and because of that he hid in closets, and scared small children. 

For a while, it seemed like the Boogie Monster was absolutely unstoppable. Until a certain 4,000 year old Seraph decided to befriend him in the 1970's..

Mithos Yggdrasill.

* * *

"Kraaaatttoooossss," Mithos boiled with anger. Kratos just smiled.

* * *

"Mithos, please get your friend out of here!" Martel called. "He leaves hair in the sink!" 

"Oh c'mon Martel," Mithos shot back. "If I'm not friends with him, then he'll terrorize the youth of the world! Plus it's disco night!"

"Thank you Mithos!" the Boogie Monster said gratefully, as he walked in wearing platform shoes. He had a funkadelic puffy hairdo, and was dressed identical to Yggdrasill.

Mithos shined bright and turned into Yggdrasill. "I hope that you two-" He glared and Yuan and me. "-know that attendance at tonight's disco is absolutely 100 percent mandatory."

"Uhh..you said percent twice," Yuan pointed out.

"Nuh-uh,"Yggdrasill looked up at the text. "Fanfiction's documents don't allow the symbol for percent."

"Darn it," Yuan said. Getting one-upped byYggdrasill was one very embarrassing experience. "You...you...you FOURTH WALL BREAKER!"

"Oh wow, you burned me,"Yggdrasill grinned.

I snickered, and Yuan kicked me in the shin.

"Hey, hey Yuan," the Boogie Monster said. "You sure put the _ass _in _embarrassing_." He laughed, but no one else did. After a few awkward seconds of silence,Yggdrasill laughed uneasily.

"Good one, Boogie!" They high-fived, and headed out for the disco floor.Yuan and Isadly followed.

* * *

"Wait just a minute," Raine interrupted, and Kratos frowned. "There's a disco floor in Derris Kharlan? We never encountered it!" 

"It IS a big place," Yuan acknowledged.

"Quit interrupting me," Kratos glared.

"No! Interrupt him! Take him hostage! Lynch him!" Mithos yelled. "Do whatever you can to stop him!"

"Okay.." Kratos rolled his eyes. "Now, where was I.."

* * *

"Marrrrteeeeeeeellllllll!"Yggdrasill whined. "You were supposed to provide refreshmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeents!" 

"Thirty-six e's in one word," Martel shook her head. "Pitiful." She walked out, leavingYggdrasill to mope around. Yuan and I sat down, and folded our arms.

"C'mon Yggdrasill," the Boogie Man said. "It'll be okay. Let's...GET DOWN TONIGHT!" The disco music started playing.

Yggdrasillwent absolutely 70's along with the Boogie Man, and it was...totally not righteous. Pretty soon he was on the ground, doing the worm, which was pretty hard in platform shoes. In fact, he kept kicking himself in the ass.

While the Boogie Monster was...pointing, Yggdrasill tried to break dance, but ended up kicking himself in the face with his platform shoes.

"Pitiful," the Boogie Monster shook his head. "I'm leaving. Forever."

He left Yggdrasill on the ground with a bruised ass and a bleeding face. He left Yuan and I in hysterics.

And most of us lived happily ever after.

The End.

* * *

Mithos was already pouting on the other side of the campfire from everyone else, who could not help but laugh their heads off. 

"Stay tuned for next time, kids!" Yuan announced. "For Yuan's story! Part IV in the Boogie Monster chronicles!"

"Nooooo!" Mithos ran off to his tent, and slammed the...flap. Wow.

"How did everyone like it?" Kratos asked, as he slipped Lloyd a marshmellow. The dumbass made quick work of the delight.

"Well, we've got some time to kill," Regal randomly said. "WHO WANTS TO GO ON A FUN HIKE?"

All that could be heard was the chirping of crickets.

"Fine," Regal stomped off to his own tent.

"That was indeed a pleasant story, Kratos," Presea said.

"Who wants to hear parts one and two of the Boogie Monster Chronicles?" Yuan announced, like he was talking to a bunch of little children. They all joined in a crazed cheer, as Yuan told them the stories.

After Yuan's narratives, they fell asleep around the campfire. Maybe this wouldn't be the camping trip from hell after all..

Yeah, right!

**End Chapter Two**

I'm going to let everyone vote on who is next to tell a campfire story...review!


	3. Chapter Three: Pokemon of the Caribbean

Sorry for late update. Here it is!

* * *

**Chapter Three: Pokemon of the Caribbean**

"Rise and shine everyone!" Mithos yelled out as he flew outside of his tent. "Come on!!"

"Zzz..what?" Lloyd muttered as he looked outside of the flap of his tent, to find that it was absolutely pitch black outside. "Uh...Mithos? Exactly what time is it?"

"Er...let me check my watch," Mithos looked at his scribbled crayon wristwatch that was drawn on his hand yesterday. "4:41 A.M. WE'RE LATE! GET UP, DAMMIT!"

Raine stumbled out onto the grounds, and looked absolutely horrid. Needless to say, she wasn't a morning person...at all.

"RAINE SAGE!" Mithos stomped his foot in the air, seeing as he was flying. This caused him to go straight down to the ground. As Lloyd and Genis were slipping their shoes on, they chuckled at the clumsy femboy. "OWW!! Raine Sage, you are looking absolutely awful this morning and for that I demand that you must tell the story tonight."

"What...? No!!" she ran back into her tent and started sobbing.

"Hey, where'd Regal run off to?" Sheena asked Presea. Presea in turn, simply shrugged and walked through the trees into a clearing. A figure kneeling on the ground could be seen, and it sounded as if he was softly crying.

"Ooh...poor Betty," Regal moped, as he planted a tombstone into the ground which read: "R.I.P. BETTY - A GOOD FRIEND AND FRYING PAN". He covered the grave with fresh dirt, and planted a single rose by the tombstone.

Sheena was laughing under her breath, as Presea actually couldn't help but join in. They both tiptoed off back over to where Mithos was directing everyone else.

"We're going FISHING, everyone! FISHING!" Mithos screamed joyfully. "Isn't that AWESOME!"

Everyone groaned, except tears began to come out of Lloyd's eyes as he fell to his knees.

"YES!!!!!!!!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs as he threw his arms violently up into the air in victory. "YES! OH THANK YOU! FISHING! ALRIGHT! YES!!!!!!!!!!"

"I can't believe this," Genis rolled his eyes. "Everyone truly is going crazy out here."

They all trudged out through the forest of trees, Regal included, and then suddenly they came to a clearing.

"Hey, where are Kratos and Yuan?" Zelos asked. "Haven't seen them for a while."

"Who cares?" Mithos shrugged. "We've reached the halfway point, we should be there so-"

"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it double!"

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Kratos!" He jumped out from the bushes with lipstick on, and a really ugly wig.

"Yuan!" He jumped out along with Kratos and looked basically the same, except they both had Team Rocket uniforms on.

"Team Rocket, blasts off at the speed of light!" Kratos screamed, and pumped his fist in the air, a la Nintendo 64 kid.

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!" Yuan yelled out.

The Mayor of Iselia emerged on all fours. "Meowth, that's right!"

"What the hell are you two doing!?" Mithos screamed. "Are you TRYING to ruin my fishing trip?!"

Kratos didn't answer; instead he pulled out a baseball bat. He turned to Yuan. "Follow it up!"

Yuan threw a baseball towards Kratos, who in turn swung the bat. Nailing it head-on, it went flying right towards Mithos's head and hit him directly in the forehead. He fell to the ground, and lost consciousness.

Kratos and Yuan instantly looked at each other, and simply uttered one word. "Run."

Everyone else instantly cracked up at the fallen Seraphim, who began stirring. By that time, Kratos and Yuan were deep into the woods. No one dared to leave the clearing, for fear of what the crazed pre-puberty freak would do to them once he awoke.

A few minutes later, Mithos opened his eyes to see that everyone was trying to stifle their laughter. He immediately jumped to his feet, and screamed, "KRATOS AND YUAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Lloyd hid behind Genis, who hid behind Presea. Mithos raised his hand into the air, and uttered a single word. "Earth of the ground!"

"Earth of the ground?" Zelos chuckled, and actually got a laugh out of Sheena.

"Bring forth the NEKCARK!!!!!!!!" he yelled, and immediately after the ground began to rumble. The earth of the ground. Ground of the earth. Whatever.

About a half mile away, Kratos and Yuan could feel the tremor beneath their feet. "What's that?" Yuan asked.

"Oh no," Kratos's heart sunk. "We're doomed.

"WHAT KRATOS!?" Yuan grabbed him by the shoulders. "WHAT IS COMING AFTER US!?!"

"The cursed Nekcark," Kratos said in fear, as the earthquake grew. "It's a forbidden monster that is summoned by Lord Mithos Yggdrasill to use at will. Once it comes after you, you're done for. There's no escape, and the end result is a really annoying cliffhanger that people everywhere will become agitated, and the beast won't even be mentioned in Chapter Three. I mean four. I'm obviously not trying to imply anything. It's definitely Chapter Four."

"What will we do!?" Yuan fell to the ground, and grabbed his knees. "Kratos, save me! I'm too young to die!"

"Yuan," Kratos stared coldly. "You're over four thousand years old."

"Still though!" he yelled. For an instant, he appeared to be calm. Then suddenly, he leaped to his feet and took off running. "Sorry Kratos, I hope you enjoy the afterlife, friend!"

"Greaaat," Kratos rolled his eyes. "Just wonderful." He turned around to see the giant monster emerging from the ground, and it opened his mouth and let out a roar.

"'Ello beastie," he unsheathed Flamberge and charged directly into the mouth of the monster, as the camera faded out.

* * *

"Is it over?" Professor Raine asked. 

"I think so," Sheena answered, and discovered to her eternal distaste that Zelos was clinging to her arm out of fear. She instantly wrenched hers away, and folded her arms.

"Mwahahahaha!" Mithos laughed, and put on his fishing cap. "I won't let those party poopers ruin our fishing experience! To the lake!"

And so they continued to walk through the forest, all because Mithos wished it.

Will Kratos return to rejoin his comrades? What are the whereabouts of Yuan? Is there actually a lake somewhere in this haunted forest? All this and more, in Chapter Four of The Great Outdoors!

**End Chapter Three**


End file.
